We All Grieve Our Decisions in Our 30's Aka " The Reflecting Years"

Life in your 30s is a transformative decade. It’s marked by growth, significant transitions, and choices that can impact our future. However, many people experience grief over decisions made during this time. Our parents are older, our friends moved away or had their own changes. Some of us who had kids when we were younger, have high school grads... Life is moving no matter what. This can encompass career paths, relationships, and lifestyle changes, all of which shape our lives profoundly.

In this blog post, I will explore the grief linked with our 30s decisions, how to process these emotions, and celebrate the opportunities that spring from this journey of self-reflection.

The Weight of Choices

In your 30s, you face a wide array of choices that can feel overwhelming. You're expected to establish a stable foundation while handling adult responsibilities. You're at the age of " You Should've Known... by Now"... With societal expectations to "have it all together,” even the smallest decisions can feel monumental.

Choices made during this decade often define not only your immediate circumstances but also set the stage for years ahead. Whether you choose a secure job or venture into entrepreneurship, each path has its own mix of successes and regrets. For instance, a study by the Pew Research Center found that over 60% of people in their 30s feel they have settled into their careers, yet many also express feelings of doubt about whether they picked the right path. I haven't liked my job since 2012 but I still work it and show up.

When you reflect on these decisions, it is common to feel a sense of loss for the roads not taken or the chances missed. Maybe you picked a job that doesn't align with your passions or entered a relationship that became more challenging than fulfilling. We can always change those things, but we need a plan because life won't stop. Validating these feelings of loss is crucial for your emotional health.

Acknowledging Grief

Grief usually relates to loss in the conventional sense—like death or separation. Yet, the emotional turmoil from significant life decisions deserves recognition as well. When you confront the decisions made in your 30s, acknowledging the regret or disappointment that often accompanies them allows you to process your emotions effectively. A lot of men and women go through this and it can create issues if you do not own it. The life you live now is based on decisions you made. If you chose not to have kids because of a career... you now sit with that. If you chose to get married young and have kids but now thats not where you want to be... you live with that. Sometimes the life changes we want instantly cannot happen today. People live double lives at times because they battle with what their life is vs what they would like it to be.

Recognizing your grief can be a pathway to self-reflection, encouraging you to evaluate your past values and examine what you truly desire moving forward. This self-awareness is a powerful step towards embracing your journey and anticipating the new opportunities that await.

Finding Freedom in Reflection

As you navigate the grieving process, it's essential to reflect with a constructive mindset. Ask yourself guiding questions:

• What valuable lessons have I learned from my regrettable decisions?

• How have these choices contributed to my identity today?

• If I could go back, what would I do differently?

  
  

Exploring these questions can yield meaningful insights about your personal growth. Reflecting on choices helps you discover what truly resonates with you, shifting your perspective from grief to empowerment.

Embracing New Beginnings

Once you acknowledge the grief tied to your past decisions, it’s time to explore new beginnings. Remember, it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Life's beauty lies in its ability to change, and your 30s, while significant, do not define your entire story.

Think about how you can leverage your past experiences for personal growth. If you are feeling unfulfilled in your job, maybe it’s time to acquire new skills or pivot to a more exciting career. For example, many professionals are exploring online courses or certifications to transition into tech or specialized fields. If past relationships have been unsatisfying, use those lessons to set clear boundaries and seek healthier connections. According to a recent survey, 75% of people reported making significant changes to their relationships after recognizing patterns of dissatisfaction.

With every ending comes a new chance to grow and pursue passions that align with your true self.

Cultivating Resilience

Through grief and reflection, resilience flourishes. Each challenge and regret confronted contributes to a stronger version of yourself. Resilience isn't just about bouncing back—it's about thriving and evolving.

Practicing self-compassion is key during this journey. Understand that you did the best you could with the information available at the time. Finding ways to forgive yourself for perceived failures builds a mindset of acceptance, hope, and optimism for what lies ahead.

Supporting Others on the Journey

While navigating your journey of grief and new beginnings, remember that you are not alone. Many others share similar feelings about their choices and the paths they've taken.

Reach out to friends or family who may be experiencing the same struggles. Sharing your thoughts can foster a sense of community and support. You may discover that your reflections resonate with them, leading to meaningful discussions and connections.

Reflecting on the Journey Ahead

Grieving the decisions made in our 30s is a poignant yet often overlooked experience. By acknowledging and processing this grief, we open ourselves to new beginnings.

Remember that while the choices from this decade have significantly shaped who we are today, they do not dictate our future. Instead, these experiences serve as invaluable lessons, equipping us for diverse paths ahead. Embrace your journey, cultivate resilience, and take bold steps toward a fulfilling future.

With a mindful approach to both grief and opportunity, we can turn what could be a burden into a powerful catalyst for a richer, more rewarding life.

So take a deep breath, reflect, and remember: every ending is merely the beginning of a new chapter.